Building Confidence as an Immigrant: A Personal Reflection

Moving to a new country is a mix of excitement, challenges, and constant learning. When I first arrived in Germany in 2015, I was filled with curiosity, like a sponge ready to absorb everything. Now, almost a decade later, I’ve completed my master’s, earned my PhD, and I’m working professionally in my field. But my journey to confidence hasn’t been simple. Confidence isn’t just about academic or professional success—it’s shaped by language, culture, identity, and relationships.

If I’m being completely honest, my confidence was at its highest when I first arrived in Germany. The more I learned, the less confident I sometimes felt—perhaps because of ego, or perhaps because true knowledge makes us aware of how much we still don’t know. Interesting, isn’t it? Here, I want to share my reflections on how my confidence has evolved as a Chinese Baha’i in Germany.

Language and Professional Confidence

The first few weeks of university in Germany were a blur. I sat through lectures, understanding almost nothing. I recorded every class, listening to them again and again, trying to grasp the concepts. Over time, my academic English improved to the point where I could engage in professional discussions and write research papers. That gave me confidence—at least in my studies and work.

But confidence in professional communication isn’t the same as confidence in daily life.

Emotional Expression and Identity

Even though I reached a high level of professional English, I struggled to express my emotions in it. In Chinese, I could articulate my feelings with nuance, but in English, I often felt like I was missing the right words. Sometimes, I didn’t even fully “feel” my emotions because I couldn’t process them in the language I was using. And in German? That wasn’t even an option. My German never developed beyond what I needed for basic tasks—buying groceries, ordering food, asking for directions. This made it difficult to form deeper connections with people.

Language isn’t just about communication—it shapes how we understand ourselves and interact with the world. Without the ability to fully express myself, I often felt like a smaller, less complete version of who I truly am.

Cultural Identity and Self-Perception

Growing up in China, I was unconsciously influenced by the idea that Western culture was more advanced. I never questioned it, but it subtly shaped my self-esteem. Even after becoming a Baha’i and believing in the oneness of humanity, I still found myself feeling that my habits, my way of thinking, or my cultural background were somehow “less than.”

Looking back, it sounds ridiculous—but at the time, it felt real. I thought I had to constantly improve myself to be “good enough.” I know I’m not the only one who has felt this way. Many immigrants from developing countries experience this loss of confidence in their identity when they move to a so-called “developed” country. Sometimes, this leads to a stronger attachment to religious, national, or cultural identity as a way to feel grounded. When we don’t feel secure in ourselves as individuals, belonging to a larger group gives us stability.

Where Does True Confidence Come From?

Confidence shows up in many areas of life—our sense of identity, our ability to contribute in academic and professional settings, our friendships, and even in intimate relationships. But how do we actually build confidence? And where does real confidence come from?

Yes, learning the language, improving social skills, and growing professionally all help. But is there ever a moment where we can say, “Now I’ve learned enough, and I can be fully confident”? Or is confidence something we practice regardless of our external situation—a kind of spiritual confidence that isn’t dependent on achievements or validation?

Baha’u’llah reminds us:

“O SON OF SPIRIT! I created thee rich, why dost thou bring thyself down to poverty? Noble I made thee, wherewith dost thou abase thyself? Out of the essence of knowledge I gave thee being, why seekest thou enlightenment from anyone beside Me? Out of the clay of love I molded thee, how dost thou busy thyself with another? Turn thy sight unto thyself, that thou mayest find Me standing within thee, mighty, powerful and self-subsisting.”¹

This passage makes me reflect on how often we look outward for validation when confidence is something we must find within ourselves.

What Do We Use Confidence For?

Do I seek confidence just to feel good about myself? To feel superior to others? Or do I use it to grow and contribute to the betterment of society?

Shoghi Effendi wrote:

“The more we search for ourselves, the less likely we are to find ourselves; and the more we search for God, and to serve our fellow-men, the more profoundly will we become acquainted with ourselves, and the more inwardly assured.”²

True confidence isn’t about being better than someone else—it’s about how we can improve  ourselves so that we can serve others. It’s about standing firm even in uncertainty, knowing that our worth isn’t based on external success but on something deeper.

Abdu’l-Baha reassures us:

“…The hearts of the people of faith are assured. If they are surrounded by a thousand enemies, they stand firm on their ground. The greatest divine bounty is a confident heart. When the heart is confident, all the trials of the world will be as child’s play.”³

This idea gives me comfort—confidence is not about being free from difficulties but about standing firm despite them.

Finally, the Baha’i Writings remind me that true confidence requires trust in the process:

“For it is in God that we place our confidence, it is the life processes which the Faith has set in motion which we trust, knowing that it takes time and includes many setbacks.”⁴

Perhaps, confidence is not about having all the answers but about trusting the journey—especially when it includes difficulties, uncertainty and rejection. This is the kind of confidence I strive for, one rooted not in achievements but in faith, purpose, and service.

1. Baha’u’llah, The Hidden Words [↩]
2. From a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer, February 18, 1954 [↩]
3. Abdu’l-Baha, Star of the West, Vol VIII, No 19 [↩]
4. Compilations, Quickeners of Mankind, p. 121 [↩]

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Haonan Qiu

Haonan Qiu, Ph.D. is passionate about understanding human intelligence, spirituality, and virtues from multiple perspectives, including psychology, computer science, artificial intelligence, education, philosophy, language, and the arts. She earned her Ph.D. from Ulm University’s Artificial Intelligence Department in Germany. Currently, she works as a researcher in the automotive industry while actively contributing to community-building efforts. Having received immense support, love, and guidance throughout her academic and professional journey, she is deeply committed to giving back and supporting others. Haonan was introduced to the Baha’i Faith in China around 2009. Since then, she has been striving to apply its teachings in her daily life, navigating both challenges and personal growth. She currently lives in Munich, Germany.